Sarah Palin Is A Virgin Pie. No, wait, that came out wrong.

Yeah, because smiling like an idiot and staring off into space isn’t funny.

An alternate universe where President Obama doesn’t go to Copenhagen to push for Chicago Olympics

“My friends, this is unconscionable news.  Our Dear Leader, Barack Hussein Obama, isn’t even taking a day to go to Denmark to lobby for the Olympics to come here in 2016. He’d rather sit in the White House to continue to push this fascist government takeover of health care!  Let me repeat that - he wants America to lose the Olympics, and take your health insurance away from you.  Is there any more proof we need that this man hates America?” - Rush Limbaugh

“I’m sorry.  I just-  I just get choked up thinking about how this man is so hateful of the great people of America that he can’t even bring himself to ask for the Olympics - a great event that will put the spotlight on America - to be here.” - Glenn Beck

Is Obama Secretly Rooting For Muslims To Win Olympic Games? - Teaser for upcoming segment on FOX News

“Politically, this is a loser for Obama.  Now, take President Bush.  He never passed up an opportunity to travel and spread the good word about America and her people.  By not going to Copenhagen, Obama essentially is saying ‘America:  Drop Dead.’” - Dick Morris in his column in The Hill

“Get your guns.  Get all of them.  We need an armed revolt to take Soldier Field and hold our own Olympics.” - Chuck Norris

“He didn’t oppose the winter Olympics in RUSSIA, I’d remind you.  What does that tell you?” - Michele Bachmann and/or Sarah Palin

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You know who is a stupid douche?  Michelle Bachmann.